Sometimes...

Sometimes I'm convinced that this can't be my life...

I know that on some level, I'm just sitting at a giant TV screen watching through the eyes of someone else. I had strange dreams last night, you see. They were filled with death ...not in the creepy way mind you, but in a way that just felt like loss. Normally my instinct is to wake up from these dreams. The goal is to wake up and discover that nothing is really missing. But, I did not wake this time. The dream lasted long into the night, and when I did wake up this morning, it was with a lingering feeling that the dream remained in the slants of snow-filtered light pouring through my shades. And, in that light, live all the Lost things.

Lost friendships. Lost loves. Lost opportunities. Lost ideas and inspirations. All the things that once slipped out of my life floated next to the dust specs in the shining air when I opened my eyes this morning. The truly sad part is, I can't remember for the life of me how, when, or why I lost them. Some friends moved. Some loves were not meant to be. Some opportunities were passed up in waiting for better ones. And, some ideas are best forgotten in the deep places of the mind. These are things I realize. I am no fool, (most the time). I do not expect my life to remain unchanged, although I might wish it would. But, still. If all those Found things so easily became Lost things, can anything ever be permeant? Can there be any lasting truth to the world? Or will all things some day be lost? Not lost as in dead or gone, but as in Forgotten. Must all the world be Forgotten?